“The Captain who Came in from the Cold!”

By Dr. Shaukat Chandna (56th PMA L/C)

Dr. Shaukat Chandna

Dr. Shaukat Chandna

Lt Gen Javed Alam Khan

Lt Gen Javed Alam

Editor’s Note: Dr. Shaukat Chandna is from 36 and 32 Baloch Regts. He resigned his commission as a Capt in 1984. After leaving the Army, he did his PhD and currently running his business in Qatar.

In 1982-83, I was a Capt and serving in 32 Baloch Regt in Northern Areas. Maj Javed Alam Khan (Later Lt Gen) from 24 Cavalry was BM of the Brigade located at Gilgit. My unit was also in the same Brigade.

On two occasions that I visited the Brigade HQ for some work/issue, I was invited to his office for a general chat. Since I had traveled in an open jeep from way outside of Gilgit, I needed to use the Men’s Facility first. Noticing that he had an attached toilet, I asked him, ” Sir, May I use the toilet?”

“Sure, go ahead”, he very graciously granted the permission.

On the third occasion, during another visit to the Bde HQ, when as usual I asked the permission to use the toilet, the BM got up from his chair leaned forward, and scowled: “You got something against the Brigade HQ – every time you come here, you bloody fool, you piss on us!”

For a brief second I actually thought he was upset, but then he gave a wry smile and waved me on in the general direction of the “Loo”.

Toilet (Loo )
Related Posts:
Army Jokes ( in Urdu/Punjabi)

Army Jokes  (in English)

Humour in Uniform

Pakistan Army Blog (Retired Officers)

Editor’s Note: 
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  1. Maj (R) Waqar Ahmed Alvi says:

    Dear Sir,
    I was in 49 Sig Bn at Gilgit. I hope you remember me? We used to stroll a lot on the lone road near our Mess in 1979.

  2. Lt Col Masood Alam (retd), 2nd SSC says:

    Dear Chandna,
    Nice write up, we expect more from you. Please confirm if you are the same chandna who along with a few unit officers remained attached in Kotli in 1981 or 1982 (I ask because this name is not very common in Army). I was in 93 med Regt Arty at that time. We used to have lot of gup shup at night. Later, I tried to find out your where abouts but could not.

    • Dear Sir,

      Guilty, as charged!

      Yes, I am the same Chandna – was attached to the Div Battle School, at Kotli, 1980-81, and truly enjoyed every minute of that period with great officers like yourself.

      Resigned in 1984, left Pakistan in 1986, and since then have been globe-trotting unceasingly. But the Army days, never a dull moment, are embedded in my psyche, and I always remember them as the most character-forming years of my life.

      Thank you, Sir, for remembering me. I feel very honored and am grateful.

      Let us stay connected.

      much Regards, and God Bless.

      • Lt Col Masood Alam (retd) says:

        Dear Shaukat Chandna,
        So my intuition was correct. Nice to know that you are the same Chandna. I am very glad to know that you are doing excellent work after Army in civil life. I am very sure that had you stayed in Army here too you would have been an outstanding officer. Whenever you come to Karachi do contact so that we may revive old memories of good old days of Kotli.
        May Allah keep you healthy, happy and prosperous.

  3. Lt Col (R) Qadeer Ahmad Chaudhry (2 SSC) says:

    Really a good light humour in uniform. Well done Dr. Shaukat, you are real Chandna.
    Rashid bhai (Editor), you are also doing a real good job. Please keep it up.
    Regards to all.

  4. Dear Cheema Jee,
    You are doing great job. I got the opportunity of connecting with my old colleagues like Brig Iqbal Awan, that time I was also in PMA when Brig Iqbal Awan was there. Chanda was a cadet in 2nd Pak if I am not wrong. I was in Ist Pak that time if Brig (then Capt) Iqbal was with 2nd Pak Pak. I was in Skardu with Gilgit Scouts with then Capt Ali who was a squash player, son of Brig Ali could not get in touch with him since then. He left Army as captain and settled down abroad, that was the first time I learnt Squash and later played at Army Level. General Javed Alam and Gen Iftikhar are my Course mates and Gen Khalid Jaffery, I know him since college days . His Late brother Shahid Jaffery from FF was a very close friend of mine.

    Dr. Shaukat Chandana’s anecdote reminded me of my old memories. Thank you very much Col Cheema (Editor) and Dr. Chandna. Keep it up

    May Allah Bless You all. My good wishes to all my colleagues.

    • Maj Gen (R) Khalid Jaffery (2nd SSC) says:

      Dear Col Tariq,
      Sir, good to hear from you after a long time. Reminds me of your 1st Pak office and the tea break we had occasionally. Shahid’s family is fine and well settled in Pindi. It was heartening to learn of your homeopathic practice in the US. Ma be you can offer online services to old friends!
      Warm regards.

      • Arshad Ansari says:

        Seeing your name after such a long time…..please convey my regards to Shahid Bhai also.

        • Maj Gen (R) Khalid Jaffery says:

          Thanks for the message. Shahid Bhai unfortunately expired in 2003 due to a heart attack. His family lives in Pindi. Were you with him in St. Mary’s or Gordon College?


  5. Maj Gen (R) Malik Iftikhar, 27 Cav/40 Horse says:

    Dr. Chandana,
    Nice to know you are doing well, I wonder if you remember me, you were in my syndicate at SI&T Quetta, while attending JOL. One of the best all round student I came across.
    God bless you.

  6. Brig (R) Aslam Khan (33 PMA) says:

    Enjoyable reading. Thank you, Shaukat Chandna!!
    And great job, Col Rashid Cheema (Editor). God bless you.

  7. Dear Shaukat,
    Good to know you are doing well in Qatar. I still remember when you were attending JOL at SI&T with your rather handsome beard. The walrus mustache is a trade mark I guess.
    All the best.

    • Thank you, Sir! Yes, Infantry School and the wonderful days spent there …. specially the exercises with you as our DS. Great memories. I still have the Energa Grenades you gifted me though over the years they have received several coats of golden paint to make the look like ‘decoration items’. Gets through the airport customs without hassles.
      God Bless.

  8. Brig (R) Muhammad Iqbal Awan says:

    I must congratulate Shaukat Chandna for his doctorate after saying farewell to the arms. Right from his cadet tenure at PMA he was outstanding and always humorous. He would recollect those days for bunking the drill / PT periods. He was a good orator and great debater and very jolly during outdoor exercises. As academician, decided for the right course of action I pray for his advancement and further progress in whatever field of business he has selected.
    Wish well for the family of Chandna.

    • Dear Sir, wonderful of you to remember me. I am honored. The grounding you gave us at the PMA has been put to good use, I assure you. Since 2010, I have gone back to the PMA once a year to do a series of presentations on Applied Leadetrship Skills for the Cadets and Officers. And each time I have felt utter gratefulness for you and other Officers who guided and groomed a ‘maverick’ like me, God Bless you. SHAUKAT CHANDNA

  9. Maj Gen (R) Khalid Jaffery (2nd SSC) says:

    Typical Gen Javed Alam humour! My warmest regards, sir. As I always remind you, “Once a gunner, always a gunner!”

  10. Salman Rashid says:

    That’s vintage Tumble. That’s vintage Alam Khan brothers! Tumble was just like that and reading his line, I could actually see his face and hear his voice. The next time I see him in Pindi, I’ll remind him of this incidence. I can already hear his guffaw.

  11. Ahmed Salim says:

    Thank you for sharing Dr. Shaukat Chandna. No wonder I wish so strongly to be born again to join the Army.

    • Dear Sir, I now travel around the world lecturing at Military Academy (s) of 7 different countries – my area of specialization being Applied Leadership Skills. My son, who graduated from Georgetown University School of Foreign Service, Washingtn DC, is hell bent on applying for the Pakistan Army. And his reasoning is: Dad, the friendship and comradeship that I see between you and your buddies – it is just not there anywhere else. I would rather live and die with sincere people around me than a bunch of hyppocrites. God Bless you, Sir! SHAUKAT CHANDNA

  12. Azam Gill (2nd SSC), France says:

    A belated but sincere ‘well done’ to two of you!

  13. Shaukat,
    Your irreverent attitude towards ‘Holy Cows’ was what I liked, the problem was that you spared no one and it was possible that you could have told your cronies exactly that ‘I pee on the Bde HQ’ !!!!

    • Thank you, Sir. It was always wonderful interacting with you. I was always an accident waiting to happen. And to be honest, you did save me from a lot of ‘Holy Cows’ – more than once.
      God Bless.

  14. Dear Chandna,
    Thank you very much for this nice anecdote in Humour in Uniform segment of Pakistan Army Blog (Retired Officers).
    You will now be a permanent writer of this Blog and we would request you to contribute more anecdotes.
    By the way, if you make this anecdote a little briefer, it is fit for “Humor in Uniform” segment of Reader’s Digest and you may get $100-$300 as well. 🙂 Please see here: Payment by Reader’s Digest.
    Allah bless you.

    • My compliments to Dr. Chandna for this article and his efforts to do PhDafter leaving the Army. It would be nice to connect with him. My Email: karachi@bk-consultants.co.uk
      SKYPE professor.shamshad

      I am fortunate to be a part of the pioneers’ team of FCNA in 1972. The Div sign was designed by me and by our 2IC, (later CO, Lt Col Shuja Ahmed Mirza, Sigs). I am also privileged to raise 49 Sigs Bn, being the first individual/officer to be posted to Rft Gp.

      Our then Commander FCNA Brig Safdar Ahmed Khan (Baluch) was a very humorous and positive person who used to wear his belt without rear buckles and so was my practice. Often our belts would get changed outside the Mess Hall and the Commander would always laugh and call these incidents as ‘BELT CHANGERS’. Finally we both wrote our names on inside of belts to overcome this inadvertent change.

      I am now in Karachi with http://www.ibaas.pk and teach BBA Aviation students and also am a student of MBA Aviation apart from being the Chief Business Development Officer for http://www.airacademypak.com

      I am much obliged to Lt Col Rashid Cheema (the Editor of this website) for doing such a wonderful work in bringing Oldies & Goldies on a platform. Keep it up and may Allah bless you, Amen.

      Major K.Shamshad (Retd)
      +92 313 860 7090

      • Dear Sir, thank you for your comments. I would feel very honored to communicate with you. After saying goodbye to the uniform, I did a couple of Masters (International Relations and International Business) and followed that up with a couple of Doctorates (Human Resources Management and English Literature). I have always believed that good things come in pairs.

        Presently I am the Managing Director of Qatar Center for Career Development – a consulting and training company I own in partnershjip with Her Excellency Sheikha Maryam A Thani. We advise and train Governments, governmental organizations, multinationals and militaries around the world. For my sins, I am also the Advisor on Strategic HR Planning to the Ministry of Interior, Government of Qatar.

        But my achievements ale in comparison with yours.

        I am always looking for opportunities to advance both my work and my organization. So if there could be a possibility of cooperating with you and your organization in areas where value addition comes to the fore, I will be happy to listen to any good suggestions.

        Thank you, Sir, for reaching out. God Bless.

        • Dear Dr. Shaukat Chandna,
          Thank you for your prompt response, we need people like you to MAKE THIS WORLD A BETTER WORLD THAN THE WORLD WE CAME INTO, you make us all very proud. May Allah keep you always blessed.

          Will be grateful should you be kind to let me have your contact # and email address or SKYPE id to communicate better. I avoid facebook in order to protect my contacts from the ever seeing eyes, so SKYPE is much better.

          Am part of http://www.airacademypak.com which is Faisalabad based and soon coming to Karachi also. My email is cbdo@airacademypak.com. Also am a faculty teaching BBA at http://www.ibaas.pk (The first in Pakistan region to offer BBA/MBA Aviation Degree Programs) with affiliation with a Federal University, where I am a student of MBA also and my id here is coord@ibaas.pk. Our head for both the institutions is Dr. Wali Mughni PhD who left PAF last being Director Ops plans and went to USA and earned his Doctorate in Aviation Management.

          Our Dean at IBAAS is Col Professor Wali Durrani a Gunner from 30 Hy Regt who earned a GOLD MEDAL from IBA in 1984 and went on to become Director Budget of Army. Our Faculty team comprises of 90% retired service officers. IBAAS offers special discounts and scholarships to service officers retd or otherwise and their children PLUS we will Insha Allah be ONLINE soon.

          Myself and Dr. Mughni would be very honoured should we connect and have a working collaboration with both organisations and furthering education. We also represent http://www.erau.edu (EMBRY -RIDDLE) in Pakistan region.

          Would welcome your thoughts. .

          Jazak Allah and may you have a blessed 2014 and beyond………

          Major K.SHAMSHAD, retd
          +92 313 860 7090 SKYPE professor.shamshad

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