Lawyer Jokes & Quotes

Lawyer Jokes.

Lawyer Jokes:

It’s a collection of clean & decent and extremely funny Lawyer Jokes. These hilarious jokes about Attorneys will make your day. No offence is meant to any profession, these are just jokes.

Two Arguing Lawyers. Lawyer Jokes.

Lawyer Jokes - Two Arguing Lawyers - Funny Jokes about Attorneys and Lawyers

A Dull Witness gives Oral AnswerLawyer Jokes.

Jokes and Humor about Attorneys : Oral answer by a Dull Witness - Funniest Lawyers Jokes

Forgetful Witness forgets age of SonLawyer Jokes.

 Lawyer Jokes & Humor - Forgetful Witness forgets son's age - Funny Jokes about Attorneys and Lawyers at work

Have You Ever Been Arrested?
A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question, “Have you ever been arrested?” He answered, “No.”
The next question, intended for applicants who had answered, “Yes,” was “Why?” The lawyer answered it, “Never got caught.”

The Good News and the Bad News
The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news.”
“What’s the bad news?” asks the accused.
“The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.”
“What’s the good news?”

Attorney Asks About Autopsy
Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
Witness: No.
Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure?
Witness: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Witness: No.
Attorney: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
Witness: No .
Attorney: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
Witness: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Attorney: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
Witness: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Lawyer Quotes:

Who has the Better Lawyer? Robert Frost (1874–1963) was an American poet.

Lawyer Jokes & Humor - Who has the Better Lawyer - Funny Quotes about Attorneys & Lawyers at work

Get Mad Only on Purpose. Warren Christopher (1925–2011) was an American lawyer, diplomat, and politician. He had also served as the Secretary of State.

Lawyer Jokes & Humor - Get Mad only on Purpose - Funny Quotes about Attorneys & Lawyers at work

Compromise is the Cheapest Lawyer. Robert Louis Balfour Stevenson (1850-1894) was a Scottish novelist, poet, essayist, and travel writer.

Lawyer Jokes & Humor - Compromise is the cheapest lawyer - Funny Quotes about Attorneys & Lawyers at work

I’m going to Call Smith & Wesson. James Richard “Rick” Perry (born March 4, 1950) is an American politician who is the current United States Secretary of Energy, serving in the Cabinet of Donald Trump. He has also served as Governor of Texas.

Lawyer Jokes & Humor - I'm going to Call Smith & Wesson- Funny Quotes about Attorneys & Lawyers at work

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Jokes about Attorneys (Reader’s Digest)

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  1. Very nice, clean jokes. Please add more.

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