Engineer Jokes & Quotes

Funny Engineer Jokes & Quotes.

Here is a nice collection of Funny Engineer Jokes. These hilarious jokes about engineers & engineering humor will certainly make your day.

Difference between Mechanical Engineer and Civil Engineer?

Engineer Humor - Difference between Mechanical Engineer and Civil Engineer? - Best Engineer Jokes

Three Engineers in a Car Accident 

Engineer Humor - Three Engineers in a car accident - Best Engineer Jokes

A Villager’s Son Learns ‘Pi r square’ in Engineering School

Funny Engineer Jokes - Villager's son learns 'Pi r square' in Engineering School - Best Engineering Jokes

Software Engineers required for changing a Light Bulb?

Funny Engineer Jokes - Software Engineers required for changing a light bulb? - Best Engineering Jokes

Engineer Jokes: Engineer’s Clock

Funny Engineer Jokes - Engineer's clock - Best Popular Engineer Jokes

Engineer Jokes: An Optimist, a Pessimist and an Engineer

Funny Engineer Jokes - An Optimist, a Pessimist and an Engineer - Best Engineering Jokes

NASA’s Manned Probe to the Sun

Funny Engineer Jokes - NASA's manned probe to the sun - Best Engineering Jokes

Engineer Jokes: Volume of a Red Ball Found by an Engineer
A mathematician, scientist and engineer were tasked with finding the volume of a red ball.
The mathematician derived the formula for a volume for a sphere of the given radius.
The scientist submerged the ball in water in a graduated cylinder and measured the displaced volume.
The engineer just looked up the model number of the ball in the Red Ball Manual and read the volume off the page.

Engineer Jokes: Engineer at a Job Interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the HR manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, “And what starting salary were you looking for?”
The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The HR Manager said, “Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks of vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a Mercedes?”
The engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow!!! Are you joking?”
And the HR Manager said, “Of course…but you started it.”

Engineer Jokes: An Engineer and the Talking Frog
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for one week.”
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.”

Architecture Vs Engineering. Walter Gropius (1883 – 1969) was a German architect and founder of the Bauhaus School. He is considered as one of the pioneering masters of modern architecture.

Engineers Quotes - Architecture Vs Engineering - Quotes about Engineering

‘Engineering is about Doing’. Henry Petroski (Born 1942) is an American engineer specializing in failure analysis.

Engineers Quotes - 'Engineering is about Doing' - Quotes about Engineering

Achieving Function while Avoiding Failure

Engineers Quotes - 'Engineering is achieving function while avoiding failure' - Quotes about Engineering

‘Engineering Stimulates the Mind’. Paul Bruce Dickinson (Born 1958) is an English singer, musician, author and broadcaster. He is the lead singer of the heavy metal band Iron Maiden.

Engineers Quotes - 'Engineering stimulates the mind' - Quotes about Engineering

No Mistakes in Aviation Engineering. Freeman John Dyson (Born 1923) is an English-born American theoretical physicist and mathematician.

Engineers Quotes - No mistakes in Aviation Engineering - Quotes about Engineering

Engineering is a noble profession, Queen Elizabeth II. Queen Elizabeth II (Born 21 April 1926) is Queen of the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand and Canada since 1952.

Engineers Quotes - Engineering is a noble profession, Queen Elizabeth II - Quotes about Engineering

One Man’s ‘Magic’ is another Man’s Engineering. Robert Anson Heinlein (1907–1988) was an American science fiction writer.

The Mission of an Engineer. Barry Lam (Born 1949) is a Taiwanese and the Chairman & founder of Quanta Computer, the leading laptop producer worldwide.

Engineers Quotes - The Mission of an Engineer - Quotes about Engineering

How to Become a Real Engineer?

Engineers Quotes - How to become a real Engineer? - Quotes about Engineering

Astronauts going to Mars. Rony Abovitz (Born 1971) is an American biomedical engineer, entrepreneur, founder and CEO of Magic Leap.

Engineers Quotes - Astronauts going to Mars will need life support systems - Quotes about Engineering

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  1. I did not like these jokes.
    WAIT!! were these even jokes?

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