Pilot to Tower; “Please call me a fuel truck”
Unconscious Flying Instructor
Tower; “Report your heading”.
“What is your Call-sign?”
Traffic at 10 O’Clock
Purpose of the Aircraft Propeller?
Just a Minute
A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, “How long does it take to fly to Boston?”
The clerk said, “Just a minute…”
“Thank you,” the man said and hung up.
Cessna Flying on a Windy Day
Pilot (on a very windy day): Tower, Cessna X 25 miles out for landing.
Tower: Cessna X what is your ground speed?
Pilot: 35 knots. Is that a problem?
Tower: No problem, it gives me plenty of time for lunch.
A Noise in the Engine
An airliner abruptly returned to the gate.
Passenger: Why did we return to the gate?
Flight Attendant: The pilot was concerned about a noise in the left engine, so we went back to the gate and got a new pilot.
Estimated Time of Arrival
ATC: “Tiger 22, please state estimated time of arrival.”
Pilot: “Ok, let’s see…, I think Tuesday would be nice..”.
Frequency Changed by ATC
ATC: “What is you position?”
Flight 77: “You got radar you find us.”
After a few minutes ATC announced “Flight 77, we’re changing frequency.”
Flight 77: “What frequency are you changing to?”
“You’ve got 720 channels – you find us!” ATC replied.
Taxiway Fit for Single Engine Use Only
Tower: Cessna 310, that taxiway is approved for single engine use only.
Pilot: Roger, shutting down one engine.
Which Runway is Longer?
Pilot: Cessna 150, 6 miles north for landing.
Tower: Cessna 150, cleared to land. Wind calm. No other traffic, use runway 14 or 32, your choice.
Pilot: Roger. Which runway is longer?
Message on Engine Cowling
Do not open cowling without following special instructions. See instructions inside cowling.
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